Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Love of my Life

I've been feeling very different lately. In a good way. I don't know if I'm feeling good in a different way or different in a good way. 

Either way, I feel good. 

I began to feel this shift toward the end of 2013. I'm not really triskaidecaphobic but just something about that thirteen at the end of a year was a bit unnerving. And fourteen is a multiple of seven which is a cosmically powerful number. For me anyway.

I enjoy reading but haven't made much time lately. And I prefer fiction to non-fiction, and self-help books are usually too dry for me.

BUT, for some reason three different self-help type books have come to me. Or, actually my knowledge of them came to me, as actually placed them on my doorstep after I ordered them. The connection between them has been very intriguing for me, and as I love to over-interpret signs from the Universe, I believe they were sent to me for a purpose.
The three books are
  • Buddhist Boot Camp, by Timber Hawkeye
  • How I Learned to Smile From the Inside, by Seth Santoro
  • The Shadow Effect, Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self, by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson
In Buddhist Boot Camp, the author strips away the Buddhist dogma and brings the very basic tenets of Buddhism to light, which you could apply to whatever religion you adhere to and be a better whatever-you-already-are. After all, this is boot camp and let's get right down to basics! 

He summarizes his experiences in trying to find a less "academic" way to spiritual enlightenment in two words: "Be Grateful." He has learned to simply be grateful for what he has and for what he has gone through. The book is simply written and written simply in small chapters that can be read in any order.  His other big approach is about being mindful of where you are today: not yesterday, it is over, and you can't change it; not tomorrow, it hasn't arrived yet, and you don't know what it will bring. It's also about retraining the mind so that you are in control of your choices. For example, if you want ice cream, go ahead, have some. But, ask yourself, is this coming from a craving, or a simple desire? If you give in to a craving, are you in control, or is the craving?

To visit the Buddhist Boot Camp website, click here.

I recently interviewed Seth Santoro, the author of How I Learned to Smile From The Inside. In his book he describes the method he developed to overcome some severe losses in his young life. He says one must embrace the emotions that accompanied the loss in order to learn from it and then move forward. In that way, one truly learns to simply be and to live an authentic life.

While I admit I'm only about halfway through The Shadow Effect at this writing, what I'm learning has been very revealing. We all have a Shadow inside us. This idea of the Shadow, and its effect, was first described by Carl Jung. The Shadow is composed of all those things we don't like about ourselves and attempt to hide, not only from others, but from ourselves as well: anger, jealousy, shame, sexuality, self-negating to name a few. We learn to suppress these traits early on either from the adults in our lives or by society because they deem these traits as undesirable. We have suppressed these traits for so long we no longer may recognize them as a natural part of our true self. These suppressed traits will at some point rise up and consume us, or manifest themselves in some other way. We must embrace them, but not give into them, in order to achieve our oneness, our totality, which is our birthright. Because in order to see the light, you must first see the dark. And not fear it.

To view the Shadow Effect on Amazon, click here. 

But, the biggest underlying thread between all these books is the idea that everything that has happened in the past has happened for a reason and that reason was to shape me into the man I am to be; the man I am on a path to discovering. Without embracing or honoring the past choices I've made, or emotions I've experienced, I would not be the man I am today, or the man I am becoming.

As I have read those books, and even a bit before I began them, I felt a pull in a direction I haven't felt in almost twenty years, a pull to further explore my Spiritual self. Almost immediately an opportunity presented itself to further my exploration. This feels so right for me to do now as this will help me evolve even further and to empower myself even more.

I recently contacted a medium to help me find closure with my deceased partner, Rick. One of the last things Rick said to me was that I'd meet the love of my life soon. 

But, what if the Love of my Life isn't another man?

What if the Love of my Life is me?


  1. The whole concept of "being in the now" is present in everything Buddhist-ish, actually. I remember some time ago I watched "The Peaceful Warrior" all because I'd seen Scott Mechlowicz (hot!) on the DVD cover, and then I was surprised to see that that movie did have some lessons to teach me.

    Your closing line (question, actually) was priceless, though I'm pretty certain your heart hopes that the love of your life is someone else.

    1. Magno, you are correct, and "being in the now" has transcended into modern psychotherapy. My closing line is exactly what I needed to say, and according to a world famous drag queen, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?"-Ru Paul. I like to also think that if you don't love yourself, no one else will either.

      And yes, I admit it, I would hope there is someone out there for me. But, I need to work on myself first.

      Thanks for your comment!!!