Change is never easy, and not often welcome. Looking back over the past twenty-eight years, I have experienced a lot of change; historically, culturally and personally. The Cold War is over, the Berlin Wall has fallen, as has the Soviet Union and its satellites. Those were the biggest historical changes I could quickly recall. Culturally, I never thought gays and lesbians would be allowed to be legally married. And now I have been; and also legally divorced. I have come out to a class at my school with nary a word from parents, and strong student support. I am both amazed at the advances of attitudes, and surprised at the lack of others. True, there are those who still need an adjustment. I'm not going to address personal changes as I have explored many of them here.
|October 18, 2008 My wedding|
Yet, I feel one more change is in the air. I am not sure exactly what it is. A financial windfall? That would be great, but the Universe seldom works like that. A change in attitude toward teaching? That is mine to work on and I will be this coming year. Perhaps, an openness to crossing a particular bridge with the right man? Maybe so. I think it's time I, carefully and safely, begin to explore that one aspect of my gay side that has been truly undiscovered all this time.
What exactly are my limits in the bedroom? What do I specifically like, and really don't? What can I accept in a partner and do to make him happy?
While the next school year is going to be fraught with work, for all the other projects I've taken on, and therefore taking up MORE time, I feel something is up, there's an electricity in the air, or maybe just in me. I can sense something. This is just when the Universe may bring someone into my life.
Sometimes, the Universe just does work like that.